Lately I’ve been worrying a lot. I’ve been overthinking and over planning just about everything I possibly could and it’s been truly exhausting. But the kind of exhausting that is as addictive as it is frustrating. When you see something or indeed someone you want and you decide you’re going to do everything you can to get it or them, it’s like something inside you shifts. You may have a laid back and calm personality, and like me you may have always sworn you would never let anything distract you quite this much, but all that can change in a heartbeat. And then ensues the wishing, the hoping and the worst thing of all… time wasting.
In your efforts to get to the “good bit” faster, to find the greener grass, to have what seems to be so close to your grasp, you risk losing so many moments of your precious time. And you do lose that time. Because you don’t get it back again, you can’t simply wish to live those weeks or months again once they’re gone. So if they’re wasted then that’s their fate and you will start to realise that although you cannot go back, you can make a change.
All that exists is now. Not tomorrow or next year. Not yet. And when you try to predict the next moment let alone your life ahead, you cannot end up feeling anything other than disappointed. Sometimes you just have to trust your own timeline. Trust that life is going to happen to you. It’s going to unfold in every direction and in so many unforeseen ways and you’ve got to let it. And plans can be good. Plans can prepare and plans can be helpful for peace of mind. But just remember they are also subject to change, amendment and adaptation. The only thing you need to worry about is today and if you’re being the best person you can be.
If they’re destined to be in your life this time next year, they will be. Don’t wish away the weeks until you see them again. Don’t leave yourself behind just to keep up with anyone else. You can carry on leading your own life now and still be a part of theirs one day. If everyone else tells you it’s going too slow, that they would have moved onto someone else by now, smile, but don’t agree just because that’s what you’ve been taught. Because if you’re happy, it’s OK. Love doesn’t require a timeline because it has no expiry date, no best before and use by. Love just is. And it’ll still be there, even stronger perhaps, when you’re both ready. And you get to decide when that is, not the rest of the world.
If you’re making moves to be your own version of successful and people don’t think you’re going fast enough or trying enough but you know you are… you carry on doing so. If it takes you two years longer or ten years longer, you carry on. You can’t be wrong or failing if you end up exactly where you should be.
Let go of all the expectations of others, but more importantly, the expectations you put upon yourself.
“You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” – Steve Jobs