It’s not forever. 

The good news is, nothing lasts forever. The bad news is, nothing lasts forever. 

Everything in life is temporary. All our joys and happiness, our tears and pain. Sometimes it feels like each and every emotion will last forever, especially if we’re feeling it deeply, and not simply for the very moment we’re in. But if life can teach us just one thing, it’s that everything passes – and that can bring both comfort and fear…

No one wants to feel bad. No one wants to be stuck in any kind of rut, unable to see their way out of a ton of mess and rubble. But we all know that sometimes we find ourselves there. And sometimes when we don’t have a specific plan of action or obvious way out, we simply take our comfort in knowing that it won’t be forever. Whatever moment we find ourselves in right now, it will pass and more importantly, everything else has passed before. Think on every bad day, endless night, days of loneliness, times of disaster you’ve ever endured. They have all passed before now. You were not trapped in your first ever experience of pain, which is also to say you will not, cannot, stay in this one either.

And on the flip side, the good times themselves. The new beginnings, the laughter, the friendships and finding love. Joy is perhaps one of the simplest emotions to describe because it’s the most sought after and treasured. And because of that, we want to hang onto it with all our might. We don’t want to let it go for fear we’ll never quite feel the same again. And that’s understandable and human, if a little naive. Part of the reason we’re so hung on up being happy all the one is that inate fear of losing it. But we have to begin to understand and more importantly accept that the good times pass just as often as they happen. And we have to be OK with that too. In short, nothing lasts forever serves as a helpful reminder to live in the present.

Yesterday evening I was sat in my living room, and thinking about the same home I’ve shared with my Mum my whole life. We’ve had different addresses and different walls, but I’ve always believed it’s the people that make a home, so she’s always been mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and all my family, for all their sins! But yesterday I really had to remind myself, these four walls are not forever. This will not be my life forever. The fear creeps in that I’ll be an old lady, grey and tired, and be stuck in the exact same place I am today. Not just in terms of house, but who I share that house with. Sometimes I just get frustrated by my current situation, the feeling of being tied to my Mum, torn between love and duty and the need for freedom. All without giving any thought to the freedom I’ll inevitably have one day. I’ve written many times about not getting stuck in a rut, but often when you’ve no opposing proof that things are going to change, you do doubt yourself. Whether I forget it or not, the truth remains. It’s truly the case that, it’s not forever. I won’t feel bound to my (dear) Mum forever. I won’t be sleeping in my childhood bedroom forever. I won’t be here, in this place, forever.

The only thing constant is change. And for that I’m mostly grateful. 

Love, Suzy. 

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1 Comment

  1. I am happy to read that you have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, food on the table, and someone who hopefully loves you that is still willing to share what she has with you until such time as you move on. I was on my own at age 15. No complaints, as I was the one that felt grown enough to leave. It was foster care, but I still left the warmth of a home. I had to make it on my own, and it wasn’t the easiest. It was also decades ago. Times have changed a whole lot since then. I imagine it would be even harder in today’s world to strike out on your own. I’m thankful I made it. I trust that when the time comes [and you know it will], you will get the same opportunity to go forth and conquer. As long as you harbor fears, it is probably safest that you stay where you are. Symbolically speaking, it’s cold outside. Highest and Best!

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