Imagine a world when you wake up and the first thing you do is look in the mirror. Not out of vanity or to make yourself up for him or her, but because you should always fall in love with the first thing you see in the morning.
He is not as important as you. She is not as important as you. They are not as important as you. We are all important and worthwhile and have our place on earth. But when you stifle your own voice to hear theirs instead, dumb down your own life to make room for them, you leave yourself wide open to a creeping thief called self doubt. You’re putting all your precious worth in their hands, without thinking about the day they decide they need to save themselves and you’re left on the floor to pick up the pieces where they dropped you. You’re constantly waking up with thoughts of their face, maybe going to bed with them and then making love to their opinion of you, all before checking in with the voice in your own head. The voice that you left in kindergarten, or maybe it was primary school. The voice that never got to graduate to the very time it was born to be used.
Because you are as worthwhile on your own, as you are with them. You were worthwhile the moment you were born and will continue to be whether they stay by your side or not. Love will be beautiful and feel like a reason to stay alive. It will bring joy and hope to a miserable day. But the real reason to stay alive will always, always, be you.
All I can advise is this. Take up as much room on this earth as possible. Take up the whole seat in this journey called your life. (Tip: Don’t move over for anyone). Overspill into every life you touch. Fall in love with them and tell them so, and simply smile if they don’t say it back. Diet to be healthy if you want, not because you think they might love you better. Dye your hair because you like the way it catches the sun, not because they said blondes have more fun. Be unapologetically, consistently and happily you, for you. Don’t ever think you’re only a “half” in a partnership because true soulmates don’t work in fractions or using calculated parts of people. You are a whole person, and they are a whole person. Together you are two and whole people. Simple as that.
I wish you nothing but happiness in your lives. Lives filled with your own struggles, triumphs, and don’t forget the family you choose in the form of friends. And if you choose a family in the form of a him or a her, then share with them all you are. Note: don’t give it away. There’s a difference between setting the table for two, or setting only their place while you eat alone in the kitchen.
They will be important to you. They will be important for you to love. But:
He is not as important as you. She is not as important as you. They are not as important as you.